From a d’var Torah on Miriam in Numbers 12,
by Molly Rae Bock, 2003
So here I am shut out of the camp with time to ponder. All around me there is sand and there's a well, which looks like it's mine. On the first day I was very angry with myself because of my actions and at Aaron for not being shut out too. That night, I slept next to the well where there's a wall that protects me from the sun in the morning and from desert animals and from the cold air. I dreamt that I had switched places with Moses and I was closer to God.
The second day I was not so angry. I began to think about how I could change my actions and myself. I thought I would try to be less nosy and more respectful. I believe I was so nosy about people because I really had no one to talk to but Aaron. That night I slept a little better. I dreamt that I was closer to Moses. The dream felt wonderful. I actually thought it was real!
On the third day I was so much more relaxed. I thought about how my mother taught me to be a good girl and always to listen to people. That night my wall protected me from animals and other creatures. I slept like a real baby. I dreamt that when I got back to camp God made me and Aaron and Moses His servants. My dream was rudely interrupted by the sound of an owl. Whoo, whoo, said the owl.
I think these seven days are helping me. Today is day six. The days until now have gone by like a fast wind. But I've had time to think and not work. I have been drinking water and pondering events. I've thought a lot about Moses and how he has such a good connection with God. I have come to understand that I feel a little excluded because my own baby brother pays more attention to God than to me. When I was talking to Aaron about Moses and the Cushite woman, I was really thinking about Moses paying so much attention to God and not to me.
When I get back to camp, I am going to talk to Moses and tell him how I feel and apologize. I am also going to try to spend more time with him. If he says he doesn't want to, I will let it go and try talking to him again a different time. Then after we work things out I am going to ask him to ask God to call me to the Tent of Meeting so I can apologize to Him too. I think when I talk to God I am going to be myself, but less nosy. I am going to tell God the way I felt before He sent me out of the camp and how I feel now.